Hello dear friends,
Interestingly enough, my health journey has brought to light a different journey for myself. I feel as though I need to speak my own personal thoughts out loud regarding this secondary journey because I think its important for me. I have been lucky enough and blessed enough to be surrounded by many, many, many, family, friends, and yes even strangers who are helping me through my crisis.
Many of you are individuals who are strong in your beliefs and have an unquavering devotion to the Lord and have complete faith. Many of you are strong prayer warriors or know at least one or two. I have been added to numerous prayer lists and I am eternally grateful for every prayer that is said for me and my family.
There are also many of you that don't necessarily pray, yet your positive thoughts and energy are just as equally important to me because you believe. To me that is the crux of of the matter... belief. Belief in what you ask? I don't know... belief in overall goodness, fairness, equity? This is part of my journey.
I am facing an uncertain longevity of life that is unknown to me. It could be very long or it could be very short... I don't know, but one doesn't get faced with a reality check like mine without "thinking". Even though I will fight with all my might the inevitable is much more tangible to me than it was 21 short days ago. It is still difficult to wrap my brain around the fact that everything as I understood it is different and it has only been a short or very long 21 days.
The point of this post is to relay to you that I have started my own journey with God, but I don't know what it is. I have always believed in a higher being, but what that meant is vague and nondescript. I didn't ponder heaven and hell except in very casual ways. I have always believed myself to be an overall "good" person, a person that tries to treat other people well and do the "right" thing but I have never consciously worried about words like salvation, redemption, being saved, etc. I know not what these words really mean. I know what kindness is, what fairness is, what I consider to be just, what good is, as well as evil and sin.
All I know is that I think about things such as life and death and to be honest, it is scary. I don't know where this journey will take me and I'm not going to fixate on it... I honestly don't know anything, but it is a journey that I'm aware of and that I think of and ponder upon.
Today's post isn't about your journey because many of you are living yours even as I write, its about my spiritual journey. I don't honestly know what that means to me and I don't know how long it will take or even if I'll get there, or when, but I have to be honest and share with you that I am on one.
The one thing that I take with absolute fevor is the knowledge that you my friends do lift me up with your devotedness and your own strong faith. I take STRENGTH in knowing that you BELIEVE and can pass that on to me.
Thank you once again for letting me share with you.
Until next time.