Good morning my friends, I am hoping that I'm over the chemo hump. Yesterday was a very rough day for nausea. It was impossible to keep anything down, but it was tempered with my release from the hospital. Coming home was bittersweet and not what I had imagined at all to be honest.
I've had 2 hospital stays both because of the birth of my babies... happy occasions. Obviously, this stay was much different. Kevin and I got all our things ready to go and we were just waiting for the nurse to de-access my port (for the chemo) and to sign the papers. Then we walked hand in hand out of the hospital.
I got into the truck and sat there and started to cry. I felt like I was not the same person anymore and I wasn't sure who I was. I just knew that I wasn't the same as when I had entered. I have never had any procedures done before and for some reason the port that they had put into my collar bone seemed to throb even more than normal. The purpose of the port is a good one and means that I won't have to have needles for blood draws or the chemo. It is safer and easier, but it was still foreign and I felt like I had been invaded with something that I didn't want or ask for.
We don't live very far from the hospital so it didn't take long to get home. Walking into the house was surreal. I was glad to be there, but I felt like I was a stranger visiting my own home... it felt foreign and strange. I had been in the hospital for 8 days, but life kept of rolling and ticking for everyone in the house. The boys came to give me a hug and asked how I was and then sat back on the couch just like normal. I wandered around the house for a bit and then went and laid down on the bed. I started to cry again...
I moved from the couch to the bed and milled around for a bit. As I settled in things started to smooth out and I got more comfortable by the minute. It was good to be home. We were all together again.
Until next time....