Happy Monday to you all. I hope everyone is having a productive day. I'm a bit down today because I don't feel good... my stomach is continuing to cause me pain. I tried scheduling an early chemo for this Thursday but when I called last week the infusion center didn't have any spots left, Thursday or Friday so I had to schedule it for the following week with a CT Scan scheduled for the day before. The pain is manageable, but I don't like taking pain meds during the day.
I'm hoping that the scan is at least the same as previous ones, which in my case would be a good sign. I'd love to move my chemo treatments to every 3 weeks, but I don't know if that will be a viable option or not. We shall see...
On top of that, I hadn't put two and two together, but I think the whole early menopause is starting to rear it's ugly head. Another "side" effect of the chemo drugs. I have a prescription for a low dose estrogen patch, but I need to get to the pharmacy first. I have a lot of "needs/wants" that I'd like to do. Staying busy keeps my mind off my discomfort, but these hot flashes suck! I know many of you know how it feels.
I have a dentist appointment today too for a cleaning and my teeth are another sore spot with me. The enamel has started to wear off (or I think that's why my teeth are so brown looking). I'm assuming that the enamel has eroded from all the vomiting, but it seems like it was ok and then over night they looked terrible. They are so ugly and every time I look in the mirror it bugs me to no end. EDITED TO ADD: yay, my brown teeth were just excessive staining, they are now back to normal with some extra polishing... so grateful!
I feel as though this cancer and subsequent chemo is robbing me of things that I never wanted to give up in the first place. I know that if someday I am ever done with chemo, things will come/grow back, but I also know that there are things that won't ever be the same with my body and that makes me sad and angry at the same time. I know it's pointless to say it's not fair, but that is how I feel today. It really sucks to be sick and it really sucks to have no end, no finish line, no pie in the sky as a friend put it. I have lots of reasons to fight and keep going, but it would be nice to have that end goal other than the END... make sense?
Ok... life must go on! There are things to be done so I shall do my best to get to them! Enjoy the day.
Until the next time.