Little Angels

Today's Shout Outs:

Donna McEwen (x3), Jessica K and Kylie K

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Dear friends,

Today's post is one of those thinking posts because once again, I've been thinking.  But before I get into that, I want to express my great appreciation for a wonderful little girl who is going through her own medical battle.  It kills me to hear news and see children that have to battle diseases whatever that may be... to me that is the ultimate "not fair" situation!  Kylie was diagnosed with a children's disorder called Juvenile Dermatomyositis (JDM) and thankfully, Jessica has shared some of what she has gone through since the diagnosis... Kylie you are a brave little girl and a trooper!

I want to thank this special young lady who made me the card below.  It was made using a stamp set that her Mom (There She Goes Stamps) designed and it honestly came at a perfect time and you'll understand why later on.  It's called Angel Mail and is truly a great little set that is so uplifting.

Jessica sent me a lovely gift and card using this set as well as the stamp set itself and I created this card last night.  Such a true statement.

So let met get to the reason why the timing was so perfect.

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As you know, I've had the month of July off from chemo and that has been wonderful, but today is my monthly appointment with my oncologist and we will of course talk about the "future" plans.

As I was reflecting on this past month, I've been rather disappointed with the way I have felt.  Don't get me wrong, there is nothing worse than the chemo, but in my head I thought this month would be so "freeing" from those physical torments, but in reality it has been bumpy.  Let's just say my expectation of what should have been was not met and I am disappointed.

I haven't consistetly felt good every day like I was hoping.  I didn't suffer from nausea for the most part, but what I did have was a nagging pain in guess where?  Yup, in the 'ole tummy.

Part of me was hoping that this chemo break would lead to time that was pain and discomfort free and don't get me wrong, it was a great break, but last night as I was contemplating this past month it really brought home the fact that yes, I'm sick and I'm still sick.  

I know it seems silly.  I know that the tumor is there and is fighting to stay comfortably lodged right where it is, but I was hoping not to feel it's presensce.  The afternoon and evening pains that I have been feeling are very similar to what sent me to the Dr in the first place last winter.  Clearly, I have evidence that my situation and my tumor are in much better shape than last year, but I guess I'm somehow disappointed that I can still feel "its" presence and realize that the cancer is fighting back.  I know what the inevitable would be if I wasn't on treatment and that is sad and scary to me. 

So, I'm back from the Dr's and yay, no scheduled chemo for most of August.  I go in for routine blood work tomorrow and then I don't have to go in for anymore until the 18th.  I have my next Dr.'s appointment scheduled around the 23rd and then more than likely I'll start back up soon after.

Of course everything is up for change if I start feeling worse for the wear or start having more consistent pain etc.  I will have another CT scan done, but  not until we get closer to chemo time.  

My markers from last week's blood work were again elevated, but once again, that may not be evidence of cancer spread.  At this point, we continue to wait and see how all the various components of scans and blood work keep telling us.  It is disheartening though to see my marker graph... it's definitely a U shape.

We also talked about if there is a future where the surgery option might be added to the table.  And as usual, it's an unknown.  Things would have to improve greatly and all the medical evidence would need to show a significant decrease in growth for it to even be an option, so we'll just live life as it comes at us.

Well, I think that's it for now!  All in all it's all positive!

Thanks for visiting and have a wonderful Wednesday!

Until next time.

-Katie