So this is the truth, I'm so incredibly tired physically and mentally that the other day I was so sad that tears didn't even come. You know, its all the usual suspects and yes, life goes on which I'm grateful for, but just realizing that its only been just shy of 3 months and yet it feels like an eternity. I applaud so many of you out there with chronic illnesses that continue the fight whatever it may be.
I know it seems so ironic that I should feel like this when I just received such good news just last week, but this round of chemo was even harder than the last one. Every morning my oldest tells me that he's sorry that I don't feel any better and it hurts me to have to hear him say that to me. He doesn't know what else to say or how else to respond and really is there any other way? I tell him its ok, but its not. There is such heart ache out there and its so incredibly sad, sad, sad.
It has been interesting for me because ever since I shared the positive swing of events, you all have been right there cheering me on and sharing in such good news, but I just haven't been able to literally express the same enthusiasm, excitement, and joy that you have. Don't get me wrong, there was NO better news that we could have received, ok, we could have, but you know what I mean. Even with the good news, I physically feel the same and I physically look the same and at this point my future is the same.
At this very moment, I'm having a hard time dealing with the never ending quality of what the future holds. I WISH there was an end... a good end... an end that I was guaranteed. Time has such a duality to it. On the one hand time seems like bliss and yet on the other hand it seems like torture.
I want to thank all you prayer warriors out there that have taken up my cause, it is doing good and I know you will continue to duke it for me! I'm so appreciative of every kind thought and prayer that is said for me and my family.
Ok, enough of that (shaking my head)... I was able to do a bit of crafting before my last treatment which was number 6 and I made a treat box and put some candies in it for the nurses at the infusion center. I then used another fundraiser image to decorate it. Template can be found from Papertrey ink as well as the background stamps.
Until next time.