Today's Shout Outs:
Stephanie G, Joan B, Gloria D, Lou Lou, Tracy S, Lisa R, Ted M, Marie H
One of the things that I have been thinking about especially the last couple of days has to do with discipline. It's not quite the same issue with my oldest since he's 11, but it is something that I think about quite a bit, but in a different way since my diagnosis. A couple of years ago, my oldest was having some issues at school and we decided that it would be good for him to have an opportunity to speak with a counselor. I am so happy that we made this choice and to be honest it wasn't an easy choice for us. I believe that there is still a stigma, mostly unspoken about counselors and the need to see them. It's another one of those "clubs" that we can't truly understand until you belong for whatever reason. It always seems good and appropriate when it's the other person seeking mental health improvement, but when it is you or someone you are responsible for, it looks different.
My oldest did great and we have great respect for his counselor and at the end of 3rd grade it was decided that we would take a break, but that we had an open door policy if any future need arose. That future need wasn't at all what I expected, but as soon as I got my diagnosis, I knew that I needed to make sure that his mental well being had to be ensured. He is doing great, as great as any child can do at his age and development can do, so we have set a leisurely schedule for him. He visits about once a month and then of course if any other issues pop up he can see him in between.
At this point in time, I do not see a counselor and I think its because I have used this blog as a way for me to release my feelings and in many ways, all of you act as my mental health providers! BUT, I have no issues seeking mental health support if I or my family members think it would help cope with our situation!!! I truly feel that if anyone feels the need for this that they should seek help whatever the issues, big or small.
Ha, I digressed a bit, but it does all relate. Clearly, the issues that we have with the oldest is much different than the situations we deal with when it concerns the little ones. They are only 5 and at this point we don't see the need for them to visit the counselor, but I have noticed that at times it is hard for me to stay away if they are in a time out or not give in when they are crying due to disciplinary issues.
They tend to call for me when its "trouble" time and it is honestly very difficult for me to look at their tears and not give in. Essentially, I feel sorry and guilty at the same time for them, that they have been put into this situation and that they themselves are in their own club that wasn't of their making.
I also have to say that often times discipline and structure go out the window when I'm not feeling so great too. Its just one of those things and I understand it, but... You all know what the but is all about! You don't have to have anything "wrong" with you to "get" it... you just have to be a normal mom in any circumstance to understand. I do think discipline can be at times trying when a serious illness is involved, it is for me. I can swing back and forth from giving in to just feeling so exasperated and frayed. Ha I guess it doesn't help when Dad can come in and put the fear of God in all the kids immediately... go figure!
Anyway, my kids are good ones and I've decided to keep them despite my waffling discipline and I'm sure despite me they will turn out to be wonderful adults!
Until next time.