Thursday, December 30, 2010

Pavlovian Response

Hi friends... still sitting here letting the chemo do its work.  It looks like I will be released this Saturday when the last of the chemo is done.  I had an old friend stop by, another cancer survivor, who also happens to be a wonderful crafter and she noted that this Saturday will be January 1st, 2011.  It will be a good day to leave the hospital and get home.  Its little things like that, that make me smile.

This morning started out kind of rough.  I woke up nauseous and with very achy legs (side effects).  Meds didn't really help, but vomiting did.  Its amazing what expelling will do.  Hit noonish and things turned around and today has turned out to be very nice. The boys came to visit for a while as well as lots of friends.

Now for my little anecdote which is related to today's blog title.  For some unknown reason, every time I sat on the toilet today I ended up crying.  There was some sort of odd Pavlovian response going on... toilet... tears.  For me when I sat there, it just seemed like the emotions just welled up.  The tears didn't last long and honestly I don't really enjoy sitting on the toilet for any length of time.  The funny part was that it occurred regularly throughout the day.  Just weird... and in fact, it actually forced me to let go and be done quickly.

Evening is a bit shaky... food has become such an ordeal.  It has been difficult to just look at it, let alone eat it.   The nutritionists here at the hospital have been so kind and have been working with me to get some better options, but no matter what there is only so much space in my little stomach and it all competes for that same space.

Ok, I'm going to say goodnight for today and I leave you with even more thanks.  Everyday, I get messages and friend requests from people who are sending me well wishes and it truly helps me get through each and every day!

Until next time...

-Katie

30 comments:

ErinM said...

Katie,
Thank you for sharing your fight with us. Please know that you have inspired everyone who reads you blog, and we will continue to hold you in our thoughts and prayers!

Joan B said...

This is all so new I'm sure your mind and body are reeling. We are all pulling for you! Hugs.

Sue from Oregon said...

A good sleep to you tonight Katiebug.

Susan said...

Hi Katie,
Sending hugs and prayers your way from a fellow crafter in Geneva, IL.

Margie H said...

Hey Katie!
You hang in there :) I'm glad to hear you're going home soon...I'm sure you won't miss your gown ;0P Continued strong prayers, sweetie! xo

Debbie Pamment said...

Dearest Katie,
I'm a friend and DT team member with the gorgeous Jak Heath and she has mentioned you and asked that we keep you in our thoughts and prayers. I just had to stop by and tell you in person that I am sending you all the positive vibes I can. Wishing you all the best for 2011 and keep fighting the fight - from what I've seen on your blog you have soooo many people pulling for you - please count me as one one of them!
Lots of love
Debbie
xXx

Maria said...

Nice to know you'll be home soon! Hang in there!!!
Thanks for sharing your story with all of us.

Lori Ingebritson said...

following and supporting you from splitcoast. Big hugs and prayers are coming your way!

Michelle said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
I cant begin to imagine what you are all going through but i am a strong beliver of positive thinking.
so i am sending loads your way.
xxxx

Julia Aston said...

Hi Katie - I just heard - and my prayers are with you and your family as you go through this ordeal. Please know that God is with you to give you the strength you need to handle what ever is coming your way - let him give you comfort also. I'm glad you are able to share your story - I'm sure it helps to get it out.

with much love and many hugs!

Julia

Diane said...

Katie, word is traveling fast about your condition, but I just learned about it. My heart goes out to you as you face this trial. Please know that I will add my prayers to the many being laid at my Father's throne. I can so much courage behind you words, but I know you are sick and you are in pain, so I will earnestly pray for you. I've appreciated your art from long ago and loved your posts on CDS. We are blessed by your talent. I will thank you with my consistent prayers. May God touch you today and may you feel His power coursing through you.

Emily Painter-Davis said...

Katie, I love that your sense of humor is in tact and that you are facing it all head on.
I'm sorry about the vomitting part and the difficulty with foods.
I also thank you for sharing this with us.
You're so loved.
Many prayers & Blessings for a great day and HAPPY New Year's Eve!
Em

Stacy aka Twinshappy on SCS said...

Katie I had to laugh at your sitting on the toliet crying and not wanting to sit there long. Same here, just get it done and off type of thing. Well the short bursts of release are probably good instead of a big long one. Take each day as the miracle it is and praying for a full recovery. Hugs and prayers!

Claire's cards said...

Katie, hang in there I'll keep thinking of you.Perhaps 2011 will bring the new start you need.

Becky said...

Hi Katie;
I will remember you in prayer my sister.
hugs :)

Eden said...

Katie,
I love reading your updates and I think it's great that you're sharing your fight via your blog. It's overwhelmingly obvious how much of an impact you have made and continue to make on those around you. You're a truly wonderful human being, a loving and fun mother, a devoted and adored wife, and the best advocate and friend a girl could find in a sister.

Thank you for keeping this blog going, Sis. I love you!

Jennifer Holmes said...

Katie, I am just now getting all caught up with your updates. I can't tell you how brave you are! I know you must have moments when you feel that you're not, but don't underestimate the power of YOU...a woman, a mother. We can often take more than we, ourselves, even realize. You remain in my heart and mind; I'm thinking of you often, dear friend.

Conquest Keepsakes said...

Hey Sweetie! Keep gutting it out (no pun intended, for the most part)! :-D Did they find the protein marker they were looking for with tests? You're always on my mind (and that jogs a thought, do they have medical marijuana in Washington?). I know It won't make more room in your stomach or make the muscles work right, but maybe help with pain, nausea and the anxiety of the situation? I don't know that much about it other than what we heard when we were living in California when they legalized it there. NOT legal here in MO. Anywho, we're continually lifting you all up in prayer! Much, much love, Vicki C

Lois said...

Just wanted to let you know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Meredith said...

I really feel like you are putting such a positive vibe to what you're experiencing - you accept that you're going to have side effects, and you noted that by vomiting you felt better... it's inspiring that you are going through hell, but managing to see all the good things surrounding you. I admire your attitude, and really am sure that it will help you in winning this battle!

Karen Gladney said...

I will be keeping you and your family in my prayers.

You have an amazing attitute, and that will go a long way in winning your battle for sure.

Happy New Year!

Hugs

Shell said...

Happy New Year, Katie. I pray that you wake tomorrow feeling wonderful - and hungry :). I pray that you are preparing to head home and that you have a wonderful homecoming with your family. ::::hugs::::

IamDerby said...

Katie thanks for sharing with us. I am hoping and praying for you. I hope you will want to eat soon

Sue W said...

It must be hard to try and eat when you know you'll throw much back!!! You need to try though to keep your strength up!
Thinking about you daily and sending you some cyber Syndey sunshine to brighten your day!

Ted said...

Katie, just checking in. Stay strong and know you're not alone. Ever. God's right there. Right beside you. He won't let anything happen to you that He personally doesn't ordain. May He heal you in ways that only He can. Praying that your stomach allows for some food.

Novell said...

Keeping you in thoughts and prayers. You've been on my mind ever since I heard about you and read your blog posts. This very cancer affected my own family (a grandfather I never knew) and your story has touched me greatly. Fight the good fight.

Lorie said...

Tears are so cathartic! It is good to let them out wherever you might be at the time. More HUGS your way, Katie!

Candy F. said...

hugs.

Chinnu said...

Katie, just wanted you to know that there you're in my thoughts and prayers. God Bless you, dear.

Bobbi-Lynn said...

I have just come across your blog via Papercrafts post on Facebook. I have read through everything you have been going through, and I can't tell you how my heart aches for you.

I have been through this with one of my dearest friends, and I will say that you must keep your mind as strong and healthy as you can, to fight this.

I will keep you in my prayers daily, miracles do happen, and I will pray for one for you.

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