Well it has been a long time since I've posted anything on the blog and I must say that I am sorry. As you might expect I have been busy as of late. Mom is back at home, the kids are in school, work is in full swing (boy how work is in full swing!!) and we are doing well.
I've been struggling through the mundane details of life. Cleaning the bathroom, doing laundry, cleaning the kitchen, and ironing my own work shirts. Have to say that I hate all the above, Katie and I had a pretty good deal going. She would stay at home taking care of the mundane details and crafting I would do the shopping, cooking, and go to work so we could pay the bills. All that seemed to work out pretty well...
Now on to the heart of the matter, as of late I've been noticing a strange trend. Those that I don't have daily contact with seem to interact with me in a different manner than I would expect. I've come to notice that it is an almost universal reaction to seeing me. From the nurses from the infusion center that I have crossed paths with, parents of kids that my boys play with, people who know my story but don't really know me, and the list goes on. The first reaction is to tilt your head to the side and utter a "ahhhh it is good to see you", "are you doing OK?" all of which is done in a sympathetic and caring way. This is genrally followed by "it must be so hard"...
Well, yes it is hard and yes it is good to see you too, but I don't want to be the one that people tilt their heads to and say "Ahhhh". I know that I have suffered a terrible loss and not a minute goes by that I don't think of Katie and what the boys I and are missing, but then I always think of what Katie and I talked about. When I was holding her crying about what we both knew was coming. Promising her that I would go on, that I would be happy, that I would take care of our boys, that I would honor her memory.
So don't tilt your head and say "Ahhhh", just walk right up and say Isn't it a great day to be alive and wouldn't it be great if Katie was here to share it with us!! Her wish was that the boys and I could be happy and I am doing my best to always have a smile and make sure that the boys know how much Katie and I love them and I refuse to give in to sadness and depression!!!