This is my third day day of chemo, the second for the infusion pump and let me tell you its hard for me. I woke up this morning teary because I can easily remember how good I felt Thursday morning all full of spunk getting ready for the big day. Kevin called my "perky" on our drive over. My energy slowly gets less and less as the day goes on and then by the time its time to come home, I feel as though I've lost myself for a little while.
I still feel this way right now. I am not the same person 3 days ago and it takes a while for me to go back to the way I was. I feel heavy and tired... like I"m just plodding along. I'm not faint, but I'm not steady either and usually use the walls, door corners and furniture to help me along... slowly making progress as I go; much like someone who has had way too much to drink.
There are times that I just sit and stare at nothing in particular having forgotten or just too tired to keep going with what I had wanted to to do in the first place.
Everything is different, the way I feel, my mouth is dry again, I'm nauseous again, I'm tired, and most importantly, I had to say good-bye to who I was just a few days ago and wait for me to come back slowly but surely. I miss that other Katie, the one that is there under all this medicine! I know she'll come back, but I hate waiting.
Thank you all for your constant support and well wishes... they continue to bolster me and keep me afloat.
Until next time.