Saturday, January 8, 2011

Independence

Today's Shout Outs:

Wendy, Bryce and Kathy, Nancy, Lori, Suzanne, Trina, Joan,  Rita, Karan, Pat, Sandy, Patty, Michele, Amy

******************************************

I have come to another conclusion today.  Kevin went to work for just a short couple of hours and I realized that while he was gone, I felt quite lost.  I have relied on him so intently this past month and especially the last couple of weeks.  First he was with me for all the Dr.'s appointments, the tests, and finally the hospital stay.  He took notes and listened intently to what the Doctors' were saying while I listened and often forgot what they said.

While I was in the hospital, the nurses of course made sure that I had all the medications that I needed and made choices for me based on my discomfort levels.  When we left the hospital, Kevin took over that role.  I would tell him how I felt and he would pick the right medication to give me.  He would make sure that I had what I needed every day.

So, yesterday when he was gone and my tummy started rumbling I was uncertain as to which medication I should take for this particular disruption.  I'm not a stupid person and I can read labels and directions, but it was still disconcerting for me to have to make that decision on my own.

Yet, I did realize that I do need to take a more active role in my own care... yes Kevin will be there and of course he will always be a phone call away, but yes I need to take some ownership here.  I don't want to, but I need to.

And as usual, I cannot end a post without saying my thanks to all of you near and far that are making my family's well being your priority!

Until next time....

-Katie

23 comments:

Sue from Oregon said...

Oh it is obvious he loves you soooo much Katie! I am sure he thought of you the whole time he was away as well.

Cricket said...

Don't beat yourself up Katie. It is easy to rely on others when your world has been turned upside down.

Keeping you in my prayers.

God Bless You!

Emily Painter-Davis said...

Happy Sunday Katie.
Hugs & blessings...

Barb said...

Hang in there Katie - there is nothing wrong with leaning on Kevin! I am so glad you have him to lean on!!!! Still praying for you......

Hugs, Barb

Holly said...

Katie, one thing I know - it helps the people who love you to be able to do things for you, so your relying on them is something you are actually doing for them! I'm not saying it as eloquently as I want to, but hopefully you know what I mean.

Donna C said...

I understand how you feel. When I had surgery last summer I was frightened when my DH went back to work. You are obviously strong and competent. From what I have read on your blog, I think that the independence you must go through will make you feel stronger.

Ted said...

I agree with Donna C. The independence that was permitted you will make you stronger. When you have to focus on making certain decisions on your life, your focus is away from fears. You feel a bit more in control. God's watching over you, so you're never really alone. :)

Dinahsoar said...

I remember how hard it was for me to be alone the first time following my cancer diagnosis. After being surrounded by family and experiencing an outpouring of love and support of friends, it was lonely--but worse, it was scary. My children were grown so I was all alone in an empty house--the perfect opportunity to let my thoughts run wild and ratchet up the fear level. When I allowed my fear to get out of hand I had to get myself into God's word and read His promises and how much he loved me. Putting my faith and hope in Him produced in my heart the comfort and peace I so desperately needed.

Another thing that helped was staying busy-- I'd just 'do the next thing'. As I focused on the task at hand I was able to occupy my mind and not wander mindlessly into the territory of fear.

IamDerby said...

Hang in there Katie, you totally have this.

Claire's cards said...

That is why we love, so we can rely on each other in times of need. It is a blessing to have someone around who cares, I'm sure Kevin was thinking of you all the time he was at work.
But it is good to take charge when you can, it shows strenghth and you have tons of that. I'll keep you and yours in my thoughts.
Claire xxxxxxxxx

Karan said...

I am touched by your journey Katie. You are a strong person, and it shows in many ways. Sending hugs your way.

Anonymous said...

Hang in there Katie! Know that you are still very lucky because HE gave you your husband who can be your source of love and support in these trying times. Don't forget to ask your guardian angel who is always beside you to hold your hand and guide you especially when you feel fear creeping in. They will guide you and give you a sense of peace - just believe. Have a blessed Sunday.
Dadatch101

Curt in Carmel said...

It's a good thing to be actively in control of your own care. It's kind of like a tag team thing. When your down and out of the ring, that's when your husband takes over, when he is out of the ring, it's your turn again. Your husband sounds a lot like me. My partner has MS, and I ended up quitting my career to stay at home to take care of him. That is what we do when we love someone. However, you being involved in your own care keeps you focused and knowledgeable and active in your fight. That is just as important as being surrounded by those who love and care for you. It is a team effort kiddo; everyone has a part to do. Hugs, prayers, and positive thoughts being sent to you and your sweet family with this comment. Best, Curt

Jak Heath said...

You can do it Katie and I whole heartedly agree that you will be stronger for it, lets face it, we can all understand the fear and the uncertainty when you have had Kevin as an angel at your side every step of the way but it will put you back in charge. you can do it Katie I know you can.

Jak xxx

Chef Mama Lori said...

I'm so glad you & Kevin have each other. It's such a beautiful picture of love I read about in these posts. Hugs girlfriend!

ameklus said...

Katie-

Let him be your rock Katie. He is obviously a wonderful husband. In sickness and in health...it is what it's all about. I am sure it gives him much purpose to be there for you when you need him.

I love the haircut by the way! If you keep your hair, now you have a cute sassy do!

We're praying for you!

Annette from TaDa

Nancy ~ Inkcicles said...

It's cool to have a someone to take care of you. Especially when you need him most.

:-)

Laura Isham said...

Isn't it wonderful to be blessed with a partner who is there for you when it is difficult for you to be there for yourself? One of God's best gifts. You will get to the point where you will be able to take care of yourself again, but in the mean time, be grateful for what you have and let others help you. You will be able to pay it forward to someone else someday down the road.

You continue to be in my thoughts and prayers, Katie!

Theresa Tyree said...

I learned first hand what the "in sickness and in health" vow meant when Eric broke his leg and slept thru the whole month of September b/c he was in so much pain. Thank God Kevin takes his vow seriously and loves you so much. Just having someone there beside you takes some of the burden and stress off your shoulders. You and Kevin and the boys are in my prayers. Love you.

Flamenco92627 said...

Katie, I came from Royal Things, and just wanted to tell you I am praying for you! God bless!

Runnergirl Creations said...

I'm proud of you! You have courage for each day's challenges. Praying for you!:)

Sue W said...

Hi Katie, Your husband sounds wonderful and I'm sure he hated leaving your side and was thinking about you all the time he was away! You will make the right dicisions, you're a strong woman! Hang in there it's early days.

Sharli said...

Katie,

You are very blessed to have Kevin and he is very lucky to have you! Everyone needs an advocate that can carry them when they are not able. Your realization that you need to be a more active participant is really quite profound - and impressive. You are strong and you can do it.

Hugs!

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